After The Visa Part Four – Food and Language Adjustments

Further advice for Australian Filipina couples on what to expect after the Australian partner visa has been granted and your Filipina lady has moved from the Philippines and has settled in Australia.

Food

I’ll be blunt here. I’m not a big fan of Filipino food. Not only is it (in my opinion*) some of the least exciting of Asian cuisine, the way that many eat is not overly healthy or balanced. Taste is highly subjective, of course.

*And before anyone reacts and gets all defensive, I DID say it's my opinion only to which I am entitled. Please don't send angry comments if you disagree with me as many of you probably will.

Healthiness? Even Filipino nutritionists say that one cup of rice a day is the upper limit, yet most consume a small mountain of it. And the Government has run campaigns trying to encourage Filipinos to eat vegetables. Most Filipino diets consist of excessive rice intake, little to no vegetables, and small quantities of fried and fatty meat. And to that add a high intake of junk food.

So now that I've alienated a few people…..

Strongly suggest that you both talk about this, and reach a compromise. You will both need to adjust the way you eat and the way you do things. Give and take, as I said before. Not all Filipino food, and not all "Aussie food". Try to come up with a balance between what you both like to eat and what is healthy for you and your current or future kids.

The other issue is that she has come to live in Australia, and she will need to adjust more than the Aussie sponsor will for the simple fact that the country won’t change to suit her. I can remember a friend we had years ago, whom Mila knew from Hong Kong in her OFW days. Married an Aussie chap. Couldn’t eat a meal without rice! Didn’t like this…..didn’t like that. Couldn't even manage the local bread! Only liked pandesal (those little sugary bread buns you get in Philippines). It meant she couldn't go anywhere, and I'm sure that they would have found an ever-decreasing social circle if friends needed to be pre-warned to make sure there was a fresh rice pot there before she arrived. Get what I mean?

Language

Fortunately all Filipinos speak a certain amount of English. It’s not their first language, and obviously not their language of choice. But they do understand it, which is a great relief.

However, I will tell you……and every Filipina who’s ever met an Aussie will tell you……that it’s NOT the language which is a barrier. It’s our accents and our mumbling! And it’s our colloquial expressions. For example:

“Darling? This is my best friend Dave. Dave? This is Marilou!”

“Ohhhhhh, g’day Marilou. Finally met'cha! Phil’s been goin’ on about'cha fer ages now. Hope ya settlin’ in alright, eh? So ‘ow ya likin’ the place? Bit diff’rent to what'cha used to I s’pose?”

Dave and his wife will spend the rest of the evening wondering why Marilou doesn't say anything! It’s because she barely understands anything that anybody says! And add to this if Dave’s wife is one of those femonazi-racists, she will believe that Marilou’s silence is proof of a timid and male-dominated personality!

Any great solution to this? Mainly just make sure she gets around and mixes. Hanging around only Filipinos and getting the Filipino Channel on the TV won't help her to assimilate. It has nothing to do with any perception of English language superiority. I've always thought it was a silly language, and as an Australian I've been destroying the English language since I was a kid. But fact is it is the language of Australia, and Marilou needs to get used to it. She will only get used to it by constant exposure to it.

And please encourage her to TELL you when she doesn't understand you (or your kids, or your friends, etc) so she doesn't feel isolated. It’s all about being able to effectively communicate and to ensure that both you and she understand each other and that she understands what’s going on around her.