Philippines – The Boys Club – Part One

I realised years ago during my first trips to the Philippines as a single Aussie man back in the 90’s that the Philippines is a paradise for men. It’s easy to be a man, and you don’t need to apologise for being a man. And there are so many fun things for big boys to do.

Before anyone reads me wrong, I don’t mean “playboy” matters! I personally have no time for activities that treat women with contempt, especially Filipinas who deserve respect in bucketloads. I’m talking about other things.

Anyway, I think we can squeeze a few articles out of this topic alone. We'll call this one Part One.

Easy to be a man in the Philippines

Hostile femonazi-style feminism has made very little impact here, and for this reason a man doesn't need to go through life watching every little thing that he does or says in case it’s not politically correct. It takes a lot of stress away. Years ago when I ran an internet discussion forum for western men involved with Filipinas, I used to hear the stories from confused Australian men who came to the Philippines to visit their Filipina lady for the first time. Usually about Day Two, she would ask him what he wanted to do that day. He would panic through fear of being seen as patriarchal and dominating chauvinist and say “I don't know. What do YOU want to do?” The poor girl would get very confused, because she had no desire to be dominating either. She was quite happy to listen to what he wanted.

Then they would discover that deciding to spend a day drinking beer and doing very little, this is also OK. His lady would bring him beers (already opened), as well as snacks, and would make sure the fan was pointing at him. Was she dominated? Was she “trained from birth to please men”? Definitely not! This is a country full of strong and capable women. But it’s also full of women who can’t see anything demeaning in taking care of the men they love. When you love someone, what's wrong with them relaxing and simply being happy?

I can remember after my first trip to the Philippines back in the 90’s. Remember a show called Party of Five? Had Jennifer Love Hewitt in it. Well, back in Australia I saw a bit of that on TV. Jennifer’s character asked boyfriend if he wanted a baby. He said basically “Not now”. Well, SHE then thought “So, if I accidentally got pregnant, he wouldn’t want the baby!” So she abstained from sex because of this, and boyfriend had to deal with it with the required sensitivity despite obvious frustration.

My response? My goodness! Us Westerners sure do know how to complicate things! And I could recall the times I had got into the bad books with Aussie women because of what I had most definitely implied in something I'd said 6 months before that I didn't even remember. Men in the Philippines don’t have to deal with stuff like that! I didn’t! And it is really really refreshing! So much easier just to be yourself and not to have that walking-on-eggshells stress.

The local ladies are strong, responsible and hard-working. They often work overseas to support their families, or they work in the big city and commute back to their families on Sunday. They are often more likely to go to college than the boys are. Hard workers, with a strong sense of right and wrong. Not passive or downtrodden at all. Yet at the same time, very comfortable with acting like ladies and having no problem with a good man who acts like a man. And definitely the best part of being a man in the Philippines!